New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
