we have pet lesbian snakes
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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