I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
