I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
