do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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