Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
