My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I AM VODKA MAN
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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