i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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