Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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