i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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