i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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