i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
we should paint friendship bongs
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
