"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
