Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Randomize
