weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
