If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
