Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize