He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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