I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
