I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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