yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
