This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
