I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
