She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
