Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
