people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
