We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
