What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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