yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
