Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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