So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
