You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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