it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
dude. I can hear the air.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize