I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
