I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
