HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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