Non-Jews are for practice
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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