When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize