U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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