This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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