there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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