I heard we made out
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
