Duck Duck Cougar?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she pinky promised me she was 18
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
