o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
