standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
