Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
