Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize