Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
