I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
