Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
