Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
