You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You are the jesus of drinking
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
