i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
