I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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