I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
