You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
wat bout pragnant strippers??
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
