The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
