Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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