I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There's always time for handjobs
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
They have beer where we have blood.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
