I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
4 words: hood of his car
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
