My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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