Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
