you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize