I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i will never coherently bang her
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
