Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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