My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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