Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
