Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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