Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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