I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
