nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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