One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
