Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
