R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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