Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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