big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
