Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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