I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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