gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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