and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
