My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
