its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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