He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
