I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
