"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize